Guilt
by BatteredandBloodied
Summary: "You're mine now, Alice..."   Did Alice really kill Bumby? Has she truly conquered her guilt? Read to find out...    NOTE: Does contain a humanized Cheshire. It may later be a pairing, with AlicexCheshire.


I creep through the Vale, hiding under the trees and staying as close to them as I could, as if I were able to melt into them. I could feel him close to me, I knew he was near, I could feel him from a mile away. My hands grip tight onto the Vorpal blade, and I feel a bead of sweat trickle down my forehead, my wary heart pounding fast. I know he's here, and he's come to finish me off. I hear a sudden cackle behind me and I swoop around almost graciously, slicing at my opponent, my blade slicing right through, just as my heart is about to explode.  
>There is no blood, though. Only mist. The mist runs back to a grey skinned man, with misty white hair and blazing yellow eyes. He smiles at me as his long tail whips at the air. Through his unruly hair, I can see his ears flicking at the air, since he hasn't bothered to hide his more cat-like features. He has baggy shorts with a few tears in the knees from roughly climbing trees and skidding on various surfaces, and he is without a shirt, exposing his actually well built but lanky body with its dark tattoos spattered around his body, almost like tribal markings.<p>

"You did quite well...your senses have much improved throughout this past moon."

I smile at him.

"You aren't the only crafty one around here, Cheshire. Don't let this damned body get to your head." As I am saying this, I rap my knuckles on his forehead, and chuckle, jumping away before he can grab me. He smiles at me again, his right ear flicking.

"Oh no, it won't. I will say, this body is quite...universal."

Cheshire walks toward me and takes the Vorpal blade from my hands, testing it's weight. He throws it up in the air and catches it with his other hand. Even though he's only been in his human form for a week, he's made excellent progress, I think to myself. I chuckle to myself, remembering the first day Cheshire got his body and he fell over his own feet trying to walk. He really had come a long way.

"Are you going to take your blade back? Or shall I keep it forever?" Cheshire groans at me. I shake my head and take the blade back, sticking my tongue out at him.

"Sorry Cheshire, I must've gotten lost in my mind. Imagine that. Getting lost in your mind while you're already in your own mind!"

Cheshire chuckles.

"You know, I'm starting to think that we swapped minds throughout that whole body changing process. Maybe those fumes in the gnome's laboratory swapped our minds, or it just carried yours away."  
>I smile at him, but I can't help the thought nagging at the back of my mind. I have to ask him.<p>

"Cheshire, why did you choose this body even when you knew your old one would...disappear? Aren't you saddened by that?"

I swallow hard and hope I haven't offended Cheshire. That's really the last thing I want. He looks at me, but he doesn't look in my eyes.

"You know, I was simply tired of being just a cat anyway. I wanted a change of reputation, no longer known as the mangled skeleton of a deceptive mist. I wanted to prove I was more than that...and, it's always fun to have a change. It does sadden me a bit that I will never be a full cat again..."  
>With this, I see Cheshire wrap his tail around his thighs and flick his ears, and he grins.<p>

"...but at least I got to keep the best parts."

I smile warmly at him as if to offer comfort, but I know deep down that what he just told me was not the whole story, not even close. He did this for an even bigger reason, but what...?  
>My thoughts are cut off by Cheshire suddenly tackling me to the ground, a large explosion sounding out not too far from where we are.<p>

"What is going on? What caused that, I thought everything was back to normal, I-"

Cheshire shushes me and helps me get back on my feet. He looks out towards the impact site, and I see his body start to fade.

"Alice, stay put. I'll go scout out and make sure nothing was damaged..."

He completely fades, and part of me wishes he were still here. He knows I can't just stay put. I have to go. I charge towards the impact site, only to be stopped by my old enemy, the Ruins. They drip with black tar, old machine parts jutting out of their bodies, growling at me in a dark, distorted baby tone. Their doll faces are damaged and worn down, and they limp towards me. I use my blade like a dagger and hit the second one right in the forehead. I twirl around and feel the Hobby Horse appearing in my hands, as I leap up to smash the other one to the ground. As I pull the horse up, it's covered with the wretched tar. I watch it drip for just a second, as the Vorpal blade rushes back to my hand. The Hobby Horse fades and I catch the blade with ease, rushing back towards the explosion. I see once beautifully flourished trees that have been destroyed and reduced to simple ashes of nothingness, left to die in the embers of the explosion. Cheshire suddenly appears in front of me, looking quite worried.

"Cheshire…? What's wrong?"

He stares at me, and puts his hands on my shoulders almost roughly. I stare at him, wondering what in the hell is going on.

"Alice, listen to me. Don't go any further. You won't be able to handle it."

I'm appalled that Cheshire would ever say anything like that to me, and I immediately snap.

"What do you mean I won't be able to handle it? I was able to stop that bastard Bumby from completely destroying Wonderland, I avenged my family and I avenged the abused! I can handle an explosion and some burnt down trees for God's sake, Cheshire."  
>I try to get out of his grip, but he won't let go. Instead he pulls me into a tight hug.<br>"I know I can't stop you…I wish I could. This man has run out of riddles to help you. I will be here, though, if you need me."

Cheshire lets go of me slowly and carefully, as if I'm made of glass. I swallow hard and march towards the impact site, immediately gasping. In front of me, I see mum and dad's bodies pinned to the now tar covered wall with knives serving as the pins that were stuck into their bodies, blood slowly oozing out. Their bodies are charred and mangled, and I see a message written in blood, which is most likely theirs.  
>SAVE US ALICE<br>I can barely stand it, and then I see Lizzie's bed. I can see her laying in it, and I rush over, practically sobbing.

"Lizzie! Lizzie, wake up! You'll be okay, you-"

Everything freezes inside of me. I don't even want to breathe. I look at Lizzie, but her face has been practically ripped off, revealing only her muscles that have been slightly charred. Her face suddenly starts to heal itself, returning to its original form. Lizzie reaches her hand out towards me and I grab it, not knowing exactly what to feel.

"Alice…" Lizzie begins. Oh, how I've longed to hear a family member's voice after those ten horrible years.

"Yes, Lizzie…?" I ask slowly. Lizzie smiles at me softly.  
>I suddenly feel her grab my shoulders violently, and she's squeezing them really tightly. Within the blink of an eye, she's staring right into my own eyes. She lets out a shrill scream that pierces straight through my ears.<p>

"Why didn't you do anything to stop it, Alice? I told you what he did to me, and what did you do? You stood by like the idiot you were and I paid for it! I paid for it with my life and so did the rest of the family! You deserve to be dead, just like the rest of us!"

I see Lizzie's skin start to melt off, and some of it drips onto my bare skin. It singes right through, and I scream. I try to push her off, but she's too strong. I see her one eyeball roll out of her face, landing on my foot. I scream as loud as I can, and suddenly, I feel Lizzie, or whatever is left of Lizzie, get thrown off of me.

"Alice!" Cheshire calls, but I feel myself falling over before I can respond. My whole body is numb.  
>This can't be real.<br>Cheshire catches me and he's holding my hand, squeezing it for comfort.

"Alice…Alice, talk to me…what happened?" Cheshire is looking down at me, wiping the tears off of my face.

"I should've…I should've died with them…Lizzie was right…" I manage to push out. The pain in my heart is unbearable.

"No, Alice. You survived for a reason. You survived to avenge your family and save yourself. You didn't deserve to die. Only the most horrid souls deserve to die and burn in a raging inferno."

I want to thank Cheshire, but I simply can't. His words bounce off of me and I feel none of their healing effect. Suddenly, everything rushes at me; my parents mangled and charred bodies, and Lizzie screaming at me. My heart is racing, and I feel sick. It won't stop flashing through my mind.  
>SAVE US ALICE<br>SAVE US ALICE  
>SAVE US ALICE…!<br>Everything rushes up all at once in the form of bile, and I feel myself vomiting. The acid burns at my throat, but I can't stop, even though it is extremely painful and I want it to. Part of me knows I deserve this. Cheshire is holding my hair back and trying not to let it spatter upon me or him.

"My God, I see blood…" I hear him whisper, but at this point, I've stopped and I'm heaving for breath. Everything seems to be fading into black, and I fall into the vast never-ending darkness.

* * *

><p>"Nurse! Nurse, get me the restraints! It's Alice, she's gone mad!"<p>

I hear the clattering of tools and the rush of footsteps close by, but this makes me shake the bed even more violently. I'm screaming as loud as I can as I feel someone tying my arms down to the bed.

"NO! NO I DON'T WANT THAT! GET IT OFF OF ME! GET IT OFF!"

I try to maneuver my body out of the hellish restraint, but it's already pulled down tight, and I'm not going to be able to do much. Other doctors and nurses are holding my other parts down, and I hear them cutting off my clothes. It's not long before I'm completely nude and one of them is yelling at the nurse for tying my arm down, since they want to put a straight jacket on me. She rushes to get it off, and after tedious minutes, manages to get it off. I feel them wrapping cloth around me in an intricate way, tying my arms down so I can just barely move them. Another nurse puts the actual straight jacket onto me, and I hear them tying it down as tight as it will go. Hot tears are streaming down my face, and absolute rage fills me.  
>"I'm tired of this! I thought I was done with this! Everybody snaps once in a while! What have I done that is so wrong, that you must treat me like this?" I cry out. My doctor, Doctor Everdream, stares at me.<p>

"Alice…you probably don't even know what you did. You…you used scissors to violently attack a nurse and another patient. They're in critical condition. We have no choice but to put you into solitary confinement and resume your old treatments."

I stare at him, dumbfounded, my mouth hanging open. I thought I was past all of this. I feel Doctor Everdream place his hand on my shoulder, Suddenly, a nurse rushes in.

"Doctor! Someone says they're here to pick Alice up for external care. He's a certified doctor, goes by the name of Angus Bumby. I've heard of him, he runs that place for children."

I feel everything stop and my body goes completely cold.  
><em>He's still alive? I pushed him in front of the train, he was dead, I…<em>

"NO! HE CAN'T STILL BE ALIVE! HE RAPED MY SISTER, HE MURDERED MY FAMILY! I KILLED HIM! I KILLED HIM WITH MY OWN HANDS!"

I scream as loud as I can, and I feel myself sobbing uncontrollably. There is no way in hell that he is alive, I can barely believe it. I won't believe it. This is some kind of sick joke.

"Alice, calm down…Nurse, get me a sedative. Alice, you obviously dreamed this or you're just trying to make a scene. This man is a certified doctor, and we all know the case; your parents died in a fire caused by your cat. There was no evidence found that it could've been anybody else."

I simply cannot believe this. Just before I retort back, I feel the nurse sticking a needle into me, and I immediately feel drowsy, almost unable to think. I feel Doctor Everdream and another nurse helping me walk out of the room, and they lead me into a clothing room. They take off the straight jacket and snip off the bandages carefully, and put me in a basic white long-sleeved dress. It has stains of blood on it. They loop their arms through mine and walk me to the front door. I feel my feet dragging, but everything seems numb, like I can barely think or I'm stuck in a dream.  
>I want this to be a dream, at least.<p>

"Ah, there's Alice. I'd recognize her from a mile away. Thank you, Doctor, it was a pleasure to meet you. We've already signed the papers, so I'll be able to take her from here…"

I feel my body go cold. It's him. It's that damned man. It has to be. Nobody else I know has the voice of a true demon.

"Thank you, once again. I'll make sure she doesn't escape or cause any more trouble for you…" I feel him take a hold of me and he walks me out the door. He stares at me with those cold eyes that pierce straight to my heart. He leans in real close to me and cackles.

"You're mine again, Alice…"


End file.
